young hearts be free tonight

Life is so so good. I am back in Hernando after a couple of weeks traveling around the South. It was great to see friends and family. After the two weeks I've had, the only place to start is at the beginning.

I spent Mardi Gras in New Orleans with my friend and roommate for life, Taylor. I am still not sure how to describe the amount of fun we had. Taylor, Chelsea, and I will certainly look back on Carnival 2011 and laugh 'til it hurts at the memories we made.

I left New Orleans on Ash Wednesday and spent a couple of days with my grandmother in Raleigh, MS before making my way to Hattiesburg on Friday. My weekend in Hattiesburg consisted of: dinner with Bethany and Emily, nachos and ice cream with Dylan, the Keg and Barrel with my big brother, and wonderful conversations with all of them. I was reminded all weekend (as I so often am) how lucky I am to have the friends and family that I do.

I returned from Little Rock this afternoon after a wonderful weekend with my dear friend, Wren. We ate too much delicious food, made necklaces at a bead store, went to an estate sale, shot pool at a dive bar, climbed a mountain, and laughed. Duh, we laughed.

As I was leaving Wren's apartment this morning, I had a tear in my eye before I shut the door. I was overcome with the same feelings I had when I left Audrey in New York and when Mallory left me in Starkville. It is hard to not be with close friends as often as I have been in the past. Adjusting to life after college and life without my friends has been difficult at times. The difficulty of this transition has been renewed in me as I prepare to move even further away. I cannot imagine what life is going to be like without seeing my friends for such a long time. However, I know the day is coming when this will be my reality and I know that I chose it. I made the decision to join the Peace Corps with a guarantee that tough days are ahead. Still, I will miss my friends. The comforting part is that they will miss me. There is no way I could follow through with my decision if I did not fully believe that I have people in my life that will be counting down from twenty-seven until the months have passed and I am closer to them again. Being away from people I love will no doubt be the hardest part of my decision to deal with, but knowing that they love me back will get me through my tough days, frustrations, and homesickness. I say it a lot, but I am blessed beyond anything I deserve. I have people in my life that love me. Truly.

Since my last post, the Peace Corps had a birthday and so did I. What an awesome time in my life and in the life of this organization to be a part of its legacy. The fact that I have been invited to join the Peace Corps is a dream come true. I am honored and proud. I am ready to begin the journey and job of a lifetime. I am ready, but I know that in a few months I will dream of being with my roommate in New Orleans and my friends in Hattiesburg. I will laugh as I think of Wren and I shooting pool and climbing a mountain, and I will smile knowing that my brother and I have many more sunny Saturday afternoons at the Keg.

I am going to Houston, TX next week to visit my other grandmother. I fly back to MS on April 1st and cannot wait to spend the weekend in Jackson with Kathryn.

I leave in forty-two days. Life and friends are good. J'adore ma vie.

Brooke and Jimmy

I returned a few days ago from visiting one of my best friends in New York. I had not seen Audrey since early September and I had never been to New York, so I was super excited about my trip. The few days we had together were awesome. We had a total blast and we touched Jimmy Fallon. It was great.

Monday morning I had to leave. Audrey walked me out, hailed a cab for me, and we said goodbye. As my cab pulled away, the reality of my decision to move far away crept up on me as it so often does these days. Don't worry, I managed to hold back my tears and avoid an awkward moment with the cab driver, but it was hard. I probably will not see Audrey again before I leave, which means I may not see her for the next 29 months. Well, not just Audrey, (her head will get too big if she knows I like her a lot) there are a lot of people that I may not see again before I leave. This part of my decision is hard to accept.

Despite the hard parts, I am comforted by the overwhelming amounts of love, support, and encouragement the people I love have provided me with. My cup runneth over. In fact, my cup is drowning. I am a lucky girl and sometimes I fall asleep before I can count all my blessings.

Lately I have been packing up most everything I own, excluding clothes and shoes. I am trying not to think much about packing for Suriname yet. I become really overwhelmed and usually end up taking a nap when I do. I have a master list that I make notes on when something pops into my head. I will get it all together before May 3. In my immediate future I have other things to prepare and pack for: Mardi Gras in New Orleans and quality time In Hattiesburg, MS with wonderful friends. I am so excited.

For those folks wondering, the answer is yes. Yes, I completely believe I will be better able to serve in the Peace Corps now that Jimmy Fallon has held my hand.

Hope. Joy. Fear.

The reality of life after college has set it hard lately, and I miss having friends close by. The fact that seeing friends now requires planning, time off from jobs, lots of money, and in some cases a plane ticket, is definitely a change. I spent this past Saturday and Sunday with one of my favorite people in the whole world, Mallory Brown. She lives in Seattle now and I had not seen her since August. After a few minutes of being with each other, it felt as though she'd never left. I am so happy she was able to come back to Mississippi for a few days. 

My life has changed a lot since I last saw Mallory and her family and I was greeted with hugs and well wishes for my future plans. Mallory and I talked a lot about my excitement as well as my fears concerning my future in the Peace Corps. I definitely feel as though this huge change is still sinking in, but as my departure date gets closer my imagination and thoughts run wild as to what my life is going to be like in Suriname. 

Most of the things I am excited and hopeful for are also some of the things I fear. I cannot wait to meet the other folks that I will be training and living with for the first few months. I cannot wait to see Suriname and its people in person. I am excited to learn another language and communicate with the people I will serve. I am ready for this decision to become real, and at the same time, I find myself nervous to meet my host family and fellow PC trainees, nervous that I will never be able to speak Dutch at an adequate level (Seriously, Dutch?), and dreading those days of loneliness that I know are waiting for me. Still, my excitement overshadows my fears and at the end of each day I am still overwhelmed with joy for this opportunity.

I guess I should discuss my one true fear. My only really real fear is the fear that I have had since I decided I would submit an application to the Peace Corps. I knew before I filled out the application that if I received an invitation it would be to serve in a country with larger spiders than I have ever had to encounter here. That's it. That's my fear and I was asked to potentially live and serve in a rainforest in South America. Damn it, I knew it. Anyone that knows me and my fear of spiders knows that it borders on unhealthy. If there is a spider in a corner 20 feet away, I'll see it if it so much as blinks. They are not just something creepy that kinda bothers me, I want to throw up when I see one. I want them dead, but I am too afraid to go near them to squish them. They terrify me. As I was researching Suriname and reading blogs I found written by current PC Volunteers, I found what I knew I would find. Tarantulas live in Suriname. One blog I read said the easiest way to kill them is with a machete. Seriously, a machete? That means the stupid things are the size of a small rabbit or something. I've never killed anything that could not be stepped on. I am afraid to step on a spider, and in the next few months I am going to kill one with a weapon. Geez. 

I find myself praying and hoping for things I never thought would be a part of my life. I know the time is coming when I will bathe in a river (probably while I wash my clothes and dishes at the same time), speak Dutch, not talked to my momma, and kill a tarantula all in the same day. 

If you love me, pray for me. Pray for the people and the community that I will serve, and pray for the day that I meet a tarantula in person, in real life. Pray for me (because prayers for the spiders are a waste of time).

Application Essays

Peace Corps applicants have to write two essays to submit along with their application, one concerning their reasons for wanting to be in the Peace Corps and the difficulties they envision themselves having, and  the other about an interaction with a different country or culture. Here are mine. 

Essay One

I have tossed around the idea of Peace Corps service for a few years now. I graduated from college in May 2010, and, since then, I have been seriously thinking about the direction I want my life to take. There is one thing I know for sure: I want to be in a place where I am making a difference and helping others. I want to be a part of the Peace Corps because of the organization's ideals, reputations, and spirit of doing the most possible good in areas all over the world. Being just one person, I know that I alone cannot change the world, but I truly believe that if I can make a difference in the lives of a group of people, they can in turn help themselves and others who are in situations similar to theirs. That, I believe, is a huge step toward the betterment of humanity and improvement of the world in which we live. The Peace Corps will assist me in better developing the skills I will need to effectively serve a community of people in need, both in my time abroad and after I return to America.

My reasons behind my desire to be part of the Peace Corps are directly related to many of the same aspirations I have for my future and are all sparked by experiences in my past. While studying abroad in France, I gained an entirely new perspective on people and on the world. I have had a desire to learn and to experience even more since I returned to the United States. Not only do I want to serve community to improve it, I want to learn and grow in my experience and service as much as the people and place I am serving do. Serving, living, and growing in a community and a culture different from my own is something I desire, not only for the experience, but for the knowledge I would gain from doing so. I want to be a Peace Corps Volunteer in order to pair my desires to live and to learn in a new culture with my desires to help and to love humanity, so I can do the most possible good.

I plan to meet the core expectations by being patient with myself and with those I am working both with and for. I believe patience is a necessity when integrating oneself into new surroundings and is essential when working with others to implement change, development, and progress. I would also aim to make myself extremely personable and compassionate toward the people I would serve. I would work hard to build trusting relationships so that I may be as approachable and as helpful as possible. Though I know at times I would struggle with Core Expectation 3, “...under the conditions of hardship, if necessary...,” I know that I would be able to overcome the struggle by reminding myself of all the reasons I wanted to join the Peace Corps. Life as a volunteer will be different from life in America, and the distance from friends and family will be difficult at times, but I am prepared to face that struggle. I know that by being patient with myself, maintaining my sense of humor, and integrating into my new surroundings, I will not only create a home away from the one I have in the U.S., but I will help my community to maintain change and progress even after my service is over.

Essay Two

A few weeks into my first semester of college, I was introduced to one of Southern Miss's study abroad programs. I decided I was going to take advantage of the opportunity to live and to learn in a tiny village in France for a semester. The day finally arrived and my plane landed in Paris. Before I had time to think about what I had done and the commitment I had made, I was thrown into a whirlwind of culture shock. I quickly realized just how far away I was from Mississippi. I was instantly overwhelmed by my surroundings. A few deep breaths later, I began to ask for assistance and to find my way around the airport to meet up with other students.

I lived in the tiny village of Pontlevoy, France, and, unlike the big city of Paris, people here did not speak English. And while I lived with other American students and professors, the challenges that awaited me outside my room could not be avoided—well, not if I wanted food and fresh air. I quickly learned that the best way to experience and learn is by doing and trying new things. The only other option was to hop back on a plane headed for America, and to me, this was not an option.

One of the biggest challenges I faced was one of finding and maintaining confidence in myself and my abilities while trying to integrate into a society different from the only one I had ever known. I was so nervous the first time I spoke French in France to an actual French person, and not inside the classroom to the American professor; however, this was essential for my traveling and eating throughout France. I had to not only have confidence in myself, but I also had to have trust in the people I asked for directions, instructions, explanations, and Diet Coke. Throughout my time in France there were many misunderstandings because of language barriers and general lifestyle differences, but with trust, a sense of humor, and a willingness to learn and try new things, my time in France was enriched.

I was only eighteen when I moved there, so I grew up a lot in my time in France. I learned how to break down the barriers of my own comfort zone in order to experience new things. I learned that integrating oneself into a new environment and culture can be as simple as trying a new food dish, or as extensive as drowning one's life in a language, lifestyle, and surrounding unlike what they would experience in their home country and in their comfort zone. I prefer the latter of the two. I discovered the things I grew to love about France were all the things I would not have experienced had I not made the decision to dive into a world previously unknown to me.

Through my study abroad experience, as well as living and traveling in a world until that time unknown to me, I learned to be brave and confident in myself and my abilities. And while the service I would perform while serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer is quite different than the experiences I had living and traveling in Western Europe, the lessons I have learned about myself and about life have instilled in me a longing for new experiences and have equipped me with the ability to step outside of what is familiar in order to better serve and love humanity, regardless of culture, language, or beliefs. My experience living in a foreign country has left me with a desire to step out into the world with a great hope that I might find new experiences in order to not only enrich my own life and mind, but that I may be able to enrich the world around me and make it a better place simply by being a part of it because of the lessons I have learned.  

My Peace Corps Timeline

2010
August 26- Submitted PC application
August 31- Received email from recruiter
September 6- Received legal packet in the mail
September 7- Received call from Recruiter, submitted additional skill information, had fingerprints made
September 8- Mailed legal packet to D.C.
September 14- Received email from Recruiter and set interview date
September 23- Interview with Recruiter at Peace Corps Southeast Regional Headquarters in Atlanta, GA
September 24- Nominated for Peace Corps service
October 1- Received official nomination in the mail
October 2- Received medical packet
November 1-Mailed medical packet to D.C.
November 25- Toolkit updated: No dental holds
November 30- Notice of medical deferment
December 6- Submitted additional medical information
December 8- Toolkit updated: Medical review complete, wait for answer by mail. Received email from Placement Officer
December 9- Emailed updated resume and detailed volunteer list to Placement Officer
December 10- Received notice of medical clearance

2011
January 5- Received call from Placement Officer, qualified for PC service, given the choice between Youth Development in Eastern Europe or Water/Health Sanitation in Central or South America
January 6- Called Placement Officer with decision: Water/Health Sanitation in Central or South America
January 12- Received invitation in the mail
January 18- Accepted invitation to serve in Suriname

real life

I have avoided creating a blog until I found out the final verdict on my Peace Corps application journey, well that and the fact that lately my life has not been a great source of excitement. The verdict is finally in and I could not be more excited. I leave for Suriname on May 3. I cannot believe it. This idea of serving in the Peace Corps is finally becoming a reality after many months of thought and prayer.

I am still in shock of the number of well wishes I have received from my family and friends. It is incredible to know that I have so many people in my life that are excited for me and my endeavors. I am honored and blessed to have been chosen for this opportunity.

"The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity." -Leonard Ravenhill

This is my real life. I have trouble believing that fact.