Little Life

I have obviously been living most of my social life through Facebook for the past nineteen months, so thanks to that (and that fact that people share the majority of their lives on social media) I'm pretty up-to-date on who's married, engaged, or pregnant. And so, I would like to take this opportunity to share that I, too, have a little life inside of me. His name is Giardia and I found out about him yesterday. I have to say I was a little surprised, but not shocked. I returned on Sunday from a trip way up river, literally so far up river, and while on the trip we had to drink filtered river water. It was filtered, but that water is nasty, y'all.

I'm not alone in my news. There are quite a few other PCVs with the same situation. We'll get through it with help from Doc and metronidazole. Here's a picture of my little guy. I think he's smiling at me.

In case you didn't get the joke, although I'm sure the picture helped, giardia is a parasite. I have one. I guess parasites come with the territory, but they definitely are not in my job description. Ugh. I'll survive. Peace Corps is always an adventure, that's for sure. 

I am going back to site on Friday or Saturday. I want to feel better before I make the trip. I am ready to get back and hug those crazy people I live with. I miss them, and it's been a long time since I've slept in my bed. I promise to write more about that trip way up river in the coming weeks. It was a doozy to say the least. 

True Love

I do not know where to begin. The past four weeks have been such a whirlwind of hugs, love, and fun. I cannot believe the number of people who have been keeping up with my life and adventures, and who were waiting and ready to see me in my short visit home. I am overwhelmed once again by the support and love I've received from folks I love and that love me back. Thank you so much.

While I was home, I was able to see just about everyone I wanted to see even if only for a minute. I flew in on October 18th. October 20th was Southern Miss Homecoming, and while our football team is not even worth mentioning this year, the party that awaited me in Hattiesburg well worth talking about. Taylor (along with help from Hayley and Hannah) organized a night of Mexican food and fellowship at one of our favorite places. I was prepared to hang out with a few friends for the night. I was shocked when I walked into a room FULL of people. I kept turning to find folks stuffed in every corner of the room. It was packed. I cried and cried. I was shaking as friends literally formed a line to hug me. What a night. To all of you that were there that night, I cannot say thank you enough. Seriously. My life is better because of y'all.

The next day was fun-filled with college football and tailgating. It was so good to sit with friends and catch up a little bit more over the delicious fares of a tailgate in the South, like dips. I love dips. Mmmmmm.

The next week brought dinner with Audrey and dinner with Melanie. Momma had surgery to remove some kidney stones, and I spent a couple of days hanging out with her while she recuperated. I met Russ and Anna for lunch and finally hugged those precious kids of theirs. I of course instantly loved them, so I went to Tupelo to trick-or-treat with the cutest ladybug and bumblebee ever. I spent a weekend with Taylor in New Orleans. We jammed out to Jazz with cold brews in hand. We cheered the Saints on to victory, we ate delicious food, and took in the sounds of the Quarter. After NOLA, I spent another weekend in Hattiesburg and spent quality time with Andy. I had dinner with Sarah Catherine and discussed some details of her upcoming nuptials. She and I are both looking forward to July! Lunch with Bethany and Paula was wonderful, and I am so glad I was able to see Molly, Hannah, and Hayley again.

I spent Saturday night with family and went to church on Sunday morning. We had Thanksgiving early at my grandmother's house with all the trimmings. Last night Kathryn, Kenny, Josh, and I had a Mexican dinner and shared some laughs. I cannot believe my American vacation is coming to an end.

As I soak in the last moments of being in America and think about being away for another seven months, I am so thankful that I was able to make the trip home for a little while, and so thankful that I was able to see so many wonderful people. Momma, Daddy, Andy, Catherine, Grandmothers, Aunts, and Uncles, it was so good to hug you all and catch up. Friends, thank you for being the best friends I could ask for.

I did not intend to come home during my Peace Corps service. I thought I would be traveling around South America. I quickly found out that it was not easy to travel around South America from  Suriname. There aren't a lot of flights and it's expensive. It was this time last year that I told my mom I wanted to make a trip home. I had the vacation days, so why not? Looking back I absolutely think I could have made it two years in Suriname without coming home, but after the last few weeks, why would I have ever wanted to do that? It has been such a great trip.

Since I've been in America, I have of course been talking about Suriname. People have so many questions and are so intrigued by what I am doing, so naturally it came up a lot. I think the question I was asked most often is, "Would you do it again?" My answer is that I am so thankful to have been given this opportunity. I have learned so much about myself and another part of the world. I have met folks from all over the States and have made new friends. I am better because I seized an opportunity and took a risk. And so, yes I would do it over, but no I do not think I will do it again. I know that I will miss it more when it's permanent and I do not live there anymore, however I am ready to make a home in the States. I was not ready to say that before Peace Corps service. I am thankful for all the last couple of years have given me, and I welcome the challenges and lessons to come in the next seven months, but I am in love. I am in love with America, and I am so excited about the life that awaits me when I return to start a new adventure.

Going back tomorrow isn't going to be easy, but it's not going to be hard either. I made a commitment, and I am going to finish service. I hope that I return to Suriname revived and ready to tackle these last few months and finish this thing strong. I have projects to implement and not a lot of time left to get things done. It's going to be busy. I hope that I continue to learn and grow in these last months, and that I take the chances and initiatives to do so. I am going back with memories of a wonderful trip to America and more encouragement from those who love me more than I deserve.

The jungle is gorgeous. I ride a boat to get to my home in the Amazon. The sounds of howler monkeys in the night and shouting Saamaka women during the day are the soundtrack to the movie of my life at the moment. What an adventure! However, I know that I cannot live the jungle life forever. The nerves and anxiousness of what life back in America will be like are quickly fleeting. They are being replaced by a readiness and excitement to start my adult life back in the States. Like I said, I know when it's over I will miss Suriname. I will miss my jungle village and the people I have grown to love. I will think about how beautiful the jungle is, and I will remember what my neighbors sounded like having a conversation. Looking ahead to the days when I'm sure I'll miss Suriname, I will try to appreciate the opportunities and options around me and know that Suriname is still there, and will be when and if I choose to return. And when I really miss Suriname, I will look around and imagine an Autumn day in Mississippi, when the leaves are ablaze with color and the weather is crisp and cool. I will think of the sounds of a jazz band on Frenchmen in New Orleans and all the soul surrounding it. I will look around America, wherever I am, and know that I am home and that I am so blessed, and oh so very loved. Truly.

A Little Heartache with a Big Ole Side of Thankfulness

In my recent posts I have talked a lot about the rice mill project for my village. I wrote about my excitement for its implementation and the source of income it would be for a couple of workers within the village. This last stay out at site was almost eight weeks long. In that time I was able to do a lot of work with my counterpart and finalize a lot of plans for the project. Everything was set for me to return to the city, meet with my Program Manager, and send the project proposal to D.C. to begin searching for money. I felt really good about the work we had done and I was so pumped to be fulfilling what I see as Peace Corps "work."

A week or so before I was schedule to leave for the city, my little project was squished. The government sent Malobi a rice mill. I watched it being carried up from the river, and cried to my neighbor. My counterpart never told me it was coming. I was so disappointed and upset with the way he handled the situation and the way he did not work with me. My friends and neighbors were upset to see me upset. They did not know that my counterpart had left me out of the loop. I cried more. My neighbors did their best to console me and stop me from crying. I eventually was able to talk to them and tell them that I was not mad the village was given a rice mill. I told them I was upset because so many of them do not understand my role in project work. I told them it was hard to be left out of village news when I left everything and everyone I love in America to move here to work with them. I reminded them that I did those things because of what's inside my heart and not because I am being paid a lot of money. I do not know if they took to heart everything I said or if they believe me, but they saw my tears and saw how hurt I was.

At the end of the day, the situation died down. A group of village leaders met with me and told me how thankful they are that I am here. They apologized countless times and told me that I had every right to be upset. I told them again that I was happy for the village and happy that they had a rice mill, but upset at the way my counterpart handled the situation. They seemed to understand.

I didn't want to write this post. I feel a little bit embarrassed. I know that not everyone back home can understand why I am here helping people that don't understand my role in the community. I know that a lot of folks may question why someone would join the Peace Corps in the first place. I know that when projects like mine get squished it's harder to explain my decisions to those folks, and honestly sometimes to myself.

The past couple of weeks I have been in the city for Mid-Serivice Training and medical checkups. I am all healthy and have had a blast spending time with my group all together. I have had time to step away from village life and really refresh my brain and spirit as to why I choose every single day to be here. I took a minute and put myself into the position of my village. I count my life as extremely blessed, but even so, I often have a really hard time believing that even more good is yet to come. I do not believe that my village had a lack of faith in our project. I do not believe they ever doubted that we would find the money for the mill. I do believe that, like me, they had a hard time looking ahead to the good that was to come. Someone offered them a rice mill, and they had to take it. Who am I to tell them to wait? There was a rice mill sitting in front of them. The only thing I could have offered them on that very same day was a promise that one would eventually come.  When you live the life Saammaka folks live, I don't know how much a promise stacks up to the real deal. I think there are days when we can all understand their choice.

During our SUR 17 reconnect conference we spent time reflecting on this last year of service. We did an exercise in which we stood under different emotions, feelings, and thoughts. During the first round we stood under the feeling in which we can most relate to at this point, and in the second round we stood under the one that was furthest away from how we felt. Round One: I stood under the piece of paper that read, "I can see the impact of my presence here..." I was standing alone, and I think (and after sharing my thoughts with people it's been confirmed) a lot of folks read that as the actual physical impact they are making in their villages and how their villagers view their work. I did not read it that way. I read the statement more personal than that. I stood in that spot because I can see and feel the impact of my presence here every single day in that I am more understanding and patient in the realm of development. If I have a future in development work, I will be better at that job because I have experienced it first hand. I have felt the frustrations and have dealt with the stresses. I understand how to implement projects in my area because I understand the language and local politics. Going forward, I know that Peace Corps and Suriname gave me that perspective. I see the impact of my presence here in that a lot of folks back home read and keep up with my blog and now know about this tiny South American country. I see the impact of my being here in the photographs of my parents hugging my villagers and traveling through the rainforest. Round Two: I stood under the piece of paper that read, "I am ready to go home." I was not alone standing there, and I stood there because I'm just not. When it is my time to go, I will go and I will go willingly. However, that time is not yet and I am thankful for that. As ready as I think I am going to be, I know it will be hard. This experience and the people I live with have changed my life, and although I still struggle to show it all the time, they have made my heart a more welcoming place. I'm not done with this place. This place is not yet done with me. I am comforted by that thought, even on the hard days. I am so thankful for the Peace Corps and for my fellow Volunteers in Suriname and around the globe. I truly, truly believe in the spirit of the Peace Corps and all that it stands for. I know that the world would be a better place and that the world of development would benefit immensely if more people would take twenty-seven months to do what we're doing.

Everyone needs a break though, right? Right. I am coming to the States next Thursday. I am already completely blown away and overwhelmed at all the people who want to see me. I wouldn't be surprised if you could all see my smile from where you're sitting. I am beyond excited. I am ready for fellowship and laughs with great friends and family members. I am ready to come back to Suriname refreshed and ready to tackle my projects coming up. I'm ready to begin finishing this thing out strong. Thanks to everyone for keeping up with my life thus far. Thanks to those of you that pray for me all the time. I feel the love every single day.

Vacation is Over

Last week I was here. Yeah, it was hard to leave. 

My trip to Curacao was everything I needed it to be. Jamie and I stayed at a resort on the beach, and we rarely left. We went into Willemstad twice to walk around and go to Starbucks. Lovely. The majority of my time was spent between lying in my comfy hotel bed and lying in a lounge chair by the pool or on the beach. I worked out at the hotel gym and took a couple of hot baths! Yep, baths. Hot showers are such a treat, but a bath, now that's wonderful. We ate lunch by the pool and ordered room service almost every night. One of the biggest highlights of the entire trip for me was watching Today and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. We watched the Olympic Opening Ceremony, and I was able to see my boyfriend, Ryan Lochte win the first gold medal of the Games. What a wonderful vacation. 

I know what you're probably thinking. You're thinking that I didn't take much of a vacation. Fifteen months ago I would have agreed with you. I believed that if you were going to invest the time and money to take a trip, you needed to see and do everything you could to experience your destination. Not now. I understand the needs for vacation are different for people and their circumstances. My life is adventurous every single day at this point. I did not need adventure on vacation. It really was such a treat to be in an air conditioned room, to sleep in a comfortable bed, and to watch TV. Oh, and while I was doing all of these things, no one cared. No one was knocking on my door wondering why I shut it and if I was sick. No one was calling my name repeatedly even though I was going to the bathroom and trying to ignore them. When I slept until ten o'clock a.m., I didn't have to have a conversation with anyone about the things I don't have to do and why my life is different because I don't have a husband and kids in the village. Yeah uh huh, it was a vacation. 

I would have loved to stay in Curacao, consuming my calories in the forms of cheeseburgers and margaritas (frozen with salt), but my bank account would not allow it. I also have some work to do here. I will return to life in the jungle with a darker, more even tan. I will take with me the memories of a relaxing and wonderful trip; also, I have been reminded that Jimmy Fallon is still the most precious man ever.  

I wanted to feel refreshed and ready to return to Peace Corps life. Instead, I was spoiled. Maybe that's just the way it's going to be for me. Lots of folks say they look forward to returning after being away, not me, at least not completely. I may not ever feel refreshed and completely jazzed to go back to the jungle after time away. It's hard to make the adjustment. I am thankful all the time for my current situation and my role in the world, but that doesn't mean it's not hard. There are moments of wonderful and moments of wondering how I could be anywhere else, but sometimes it's hard to get to those moments. Regardless, this is where I have been called and this is where I want to be for now. I know I'll miss the experience when it's over.

I am going back to site tomorrow. I am planning to be there for about seven weeks. I, along with my community, have a lot of work to do for our rice mill project. Seven weeks seems like a long time to be out at site after the vacation I've had, but it is time much needed to get a lot of good work done. I will come back to the city in September for Mid-Service training and medical check-ups. I cannot believe I am on the downward slope of my time in Peace Corps. That fact evokes sadness and thankfulness depending on what child I'm hugging or what frustrating community partner I am trying to work with. 


On a different note, I hate that I am going to miss the rest of the Olympics. I really should have planned the whole Peace Corps timeline thing better. Whatever. Go USA. Go World. I love you, Ryan Lochte. 


Oh, and I'm coming to America October 18. Containing my excitement for the next couple of months could be the hardest thing I've had to do so far. Cracker Barrel, I'm coming for you. 

Projects and Changes

I have been in the city for a couple of weeks. The big reason I came in was to get the ball rolling for the rice mill project in my village. The village is excited about the arrival of the rice mill, and I am excited about the potential to generate income in the village. As with any project in most developing areas, things take time. Lots and lots of time. This I know, so I am preparing myself mentally for the upcoming work my villagers and I have to do. Actually, I think that I've been being prepared for this work for the past twelve months. 


Since my last lengthy post, and since my parents came to visit, life in Suriname has been busy. And I am so thankful. In the last two months we held three leadership camps for students, one for boys and two for girls. The curriculums and strategies were the same as the previous camps. It was such a joy to come to know the kids that were able to attend. It is such a neat experience to see them come out of their shells and make new friends from different villages. The students learned so much. I truly believe they are among the generation that is going to move their villages and Suriname forward. I am honored to be a part of an experience that I know changed their lives. I am grateful and humbled because of how much they changed mine. 


After the last Camp GLOW, a fellow volunteer came to visit my site. Jessica is in a Saramaccan site as well, but she lives much closer to the city. I am so glad she came upriver for a couple of days to see where I live. Getting back to site and opening the door to my house is always a crap shoot. I just never know what I'm opening it to find. So far, I have been very lucky. When Jessica and I returned to my house after camp, I had a dead rat in my floor. Fine. I have had to deal with a few dead rats since I moved to site, no big deal. This one was different. Templeton looked as though he had been attacked. There was a stain on my floor a few inches behind the rat and there was hair scattered around it. Not knowing what would attack a rat and leave it, but concerned as to what else might be in my house, I called a neighbor over and asked her what she thought happened. She informed me that everything was fine. The rat died and stuck to my floor. After a couple of days, the maggots probably moved it. It was disgusting. I threw the rat away and scrubbed my floor with bleach. I couldn't get all of the stain removed. Lesson learned. I will no longer leave rat poison out when I am going to be away. It's fine if the rats run around my house while I'm not in it. They're just so darn loud and disturb my sleep when I am home. Sometimes I cannot believe that I can totally believe the things I say and do.  Peace Corps problems. 

In the past couple of weeks I had to say goodbye to lots of the friends I have made since being in Suriname. The SUR 16s have completed their service, and it's their time to go. Giving hugs and saying goodbyes was not the easiest thing, but I am so excited for them and their lives back in America. I am comforted that they finished out their service happy with their experience, and I am so proud of their accomplishments. This is a tough gig, and it takes certain folks to do the job and make it through. I am so happy I was able to share a year of my service with them. 

At the most recent camp, I said goodbye to my closest volunteer neighbor, Shannon. I was fine letting her go. We'll both be in America one day. The hard part was watching her play with a child from her village minutes before she got on that dugout canoe for the last time. I lost it. I could not stop thinking about my kids in Malobi. I cannot imagine hugging them for the last time. If I think about it for more than ten seconds, I cry. I only have one year to go, and then I'll leave too. Sure, maybe I'll come back in ten years, but I'll come back to different people. My kids will not be kids anymore. They'll be teenagers with interests far beyond looking at books in my floor. I know it has to happen, but sometimes I hate it. 

Tomorrow I am going to celebrate the Fourth a couple days late at the Ambassador's house. Monday I am going back to site for just a week. I have to be back in the city for meetings on the 18th and 19th. On the 22nd I am leaving for a week-long, island vacation. I cannot wait. It's going to be great! When I return I am headed back to site until mid-September. I have to say, as hard as it can be most days, I am really looking forward to being at site for a while. I have been busy and away a lot in the last few months. It will be good to get back to village routine. I also have some life skills and HIV/AIDS lessons that I am hoping to get the teachers on board with and implement with the fifth and sixth grade classes. I am excited about upcoming projects and feel really good about where my Peace Corps service is, both for myself and my village. 

We Started a Dance Party in Suriname.

July 1st is a holiday in Suriname to celebrate the abolition of slavery. The day is called Keti Koti. Keti Koti means "cutting the chains." Sunday night a few of the PCVs in the city went downtown to take in the sites and help the locals celebrate. We spent a couple of hours hanging out at a park by the river and soaking up the fun. As the rest of our group decided the night was over for them, five of us stood on the side of a street, by a stage trying to figure out our next move. A crew was breaking down the stage after a band finished their show, and the crowds were moving away. The five of us stood around randomly dancing to the music, talking about where we should go next. As the music got better we started dancing more. The next thing we knew there were school kids standing around watching us. (We really do give the locals so much to talk about). At our encouragement, some of them joined us in our dancing circle.

Fast forward an hour or so and the street around us was packed. I think by the time we left there were close to 300 people dancing and loving their lives. It was so cool. The folks breaking down the stage even started up a fog machine! I could not believe how packed and loud and crazy it became. We started a dance party in another country. It's true.


A guy was taking pictures and told us we could find them on his Facebook page. Take a look.

370.

That's how many days I have been in Suriname. That's how many days it's been since I saw America and most of the people and places I love.

A couple of days ago I celebrated my one year in Suriname with Jamie, McDonald's, and the flu. Yep, she and I both had something awful. After fighting fevers and sleeping the day away, we took a cab to McDonald's. The driver ever so graciously let us order in the drive-thru. My burger wasn't ready with the rest of the order, so we had to park and wait. The driver then asked us what kind of music we liked and changed his cd accordingly. We bought him a coke. This was one of those many moments in the past year in which I have found myself laughing and shaking my head at the situations I find myself in. My life has been nothing short of humorous this past year.

There have been lots of moments when I wondered how I was going to make it to this point. I no longer have to wonder about that. I am here. I cannot believe it's gone by as fast as it has. I feel like I have so much left to do in my Peace Corps service, and now I only have half the time to do it.

It feels good to be at this point. I am proud of myself. I am proud of my group and the friends I have made. I am thankful for my village and the patience they exercise with their white girl. Life is good.

Thank you to most of the misfits in this picture for being my friend, and for the work they do everyday. I am happy we're here to support each other. It's been a good year, SUR 17. 

And Then They Were Gone

I talked to my mom for a while a couple of nights ago. She and my dad are back in America and back to the lives they left ten days before. I really think they had a great time. I could not be more grateful for the time, money, and toughness they invested in the trip. It is comforting to know that I now have folks back home that are able to relate, on some level, to what I am experiencing here.

I was in the city for a few days before my parents arrived. All of the Volunteers were in for a conference and trainings. I love when everyone is in the city and I am able to see friends that I don't live close to and don't see as often as I would like. This training was especially great because my friend and fellow Volunteer, Elliott, had two friends from home show up and surprise him at the end of one of our sessions. A few of us kept the secret for the week. Elliott had no idea! We all knew when they were going to come in and surprise him, so obviously we were so excited all day to see the look on his face. A few minutes before they made their debut, I looked at Elliott and started crying. I hid my face behind my pen and paper so he wouldn't see me. His friends walked in, I gasped, and cried even harder. The look on his face was priceless. He could not believe it. I walked over to introduce myself through my tears. Elliott looked at me and laughed. He hugged me and asked why I was crying. I told him that I knew his friends were coming, and that seeing them here and with him was real and so exciting. The next day I was going to see my parents and they would really be in Suriname too. I cried for a while. 

The week ended with Peace Corps Suriname hosting a swanky gala for friends of PC in Suriname, as well as members of different development organizations. Peace Corps Suriname is closing after my group completes our service. The gala was a really neat way to showcase all of the projects Volunteers in Suriname are doing and have done. It was also a time for the Volunteers to network with other organizations in hopes that some of our projects will continue after our departure. Not only was the gala a great showcase and networking event, it was also a night for all of the Volunteers to get dressed up and look really nice. Those nights are few and far between, and I could not wait to put on a dress and heels. Seriously. 

I left the gala a few minutes early to catch the airport shuttle to pick up my parents. After the hour long ride to the airport (and freezing in the shuttle because the air conditioning was so cold) I arrived to sit and wait for them to walk outside. I waited for close to two hours. They finally walked outside and I hugged my parents for the first time in almost eleven months. Whoa. I cannot recall ever being hugged that tightly. I thought I was going to cry and not be able to stop. I didn't. I must have gotten all of that out of my system the day before with Elliott and his friends. We hopped on the shuttle and we were off. 

Our shuttle made a couple of stops at local residences, so Keith and Beth got a late night tour of the city. No doubt the tour would have been a lot more enjoyable had it not been one o'clock in the morning. We finally made our way back to the hotel, where I took my second hot shower of the day, and went to bed. 

My last post ended with the three of us preparing to go to my site, so I'll pick up there. Our wagi (van/bus) picked us up at the Peace Corps office about an hour later than the driver said he would. When he finally arrived and my mom looked at the number of people already inside, she was perplexed as to how all of us along with all of our stuff were going to fit in the same vehicle. I smiled and told her to trust that we would. We did, and after about an hour of waiting on the other group of people in our wagi to finish their grocery shopping, we were on our way. Our wagi ride ended a few hours later. After the wagi comes the boat. After about a two and half hour boat ride, complete with rapids and baby ducks jumping out of a box, we arrived. I always have to take a deep breath before getting off the boat. Regardless of how many times I've done it, it's always overwhelming. This occasion required an extra deep breath.

We arrived as I usually do, to women and children washing and playing at the river. My friend, Maki, was at the river and could not stop smiling at my parents. A few seconds later I was wrapped in Beta's arms. She came running down to the river to help carry our things and greet my parents. This was a moment I had been dreaming of. The next thing I saw was my mom wrapped in Beta's arms. No one in my village has taken better care of me than Beta. She is my Saamaka mother, and to see my momma hugging her was awesome. After exchanging hugs and greetings (mostly hugs because of the language barrier), we were finally in my house. My parents sat, I unpacked food, and children stared in through my door.

The next morning one of my neighbors took my dad fishing while my mom and I washed clothes and dishes at the river. Later we walked around the village and talked to lots of folks. My village is larger than some on the river, so that took a while. Everyone in my village went crazy over my parents. Women asked if my dad would take them back to America and lots more people told them to stay and that they wanted me to stay. It was touching. On Wednesday we walked through the jungle to Julie's site. The walk usually takes me about forty-five minutes, but this day it took about and hour and a half. We had to stop and talk to so many people along the way. Julie cooked a delicious lunch for us and we had a good time visiting with her. On our walk back to my site the rain came. The three of us stood huddled under my umbrella and waited for it to pass. It was quite the Kodak moment.

The rain passed and we finished the walk back to my site. We spent the rest of the afternoon entertaining children on my porch. We ate tuna melts and packed our bags to leave the next morning. As we walked to the river and loaded the boat, my parents said goodbye to their new friends and I had to hold back tears. I was overwhelmed with the thought that my parents will never see my village and those people ever again. I could not help but think as we pulled away that one day I will leave my village for the last time.

We spent the next two nights at a resort on the river. It was really nice and extremely relaxing. On Friday we went zip lining through the jungle. What an experience! We returned to the city on Saturday and my parents left early Monday morning. They had to catch the airport shuttle at three a.m. I think I was too asleep to feel really sad. I am thankful for that. I am also thankful they paid for me to stay an extra night in the hotel. I never would have imagined that lying in a hotel bed and watching HGTV could make me feel so close to America.

I have to admit that I was anxious and a little nervous for my parents visit. I cannot remember a time when my parents have relied on me for almost everything. I was the travel coordinator and translator. I was responsible for making them feel as comfortable as possible in not very comfortable environment. However, I do have to say that I am glad some of their experiences were a little uncomfortable and even slightly annoying at times. I think it gives them more perspective into my daily life here.

I feel most days as though I am not living in real life. I am in a state of disbelief. It's still shocking to me that I speak a foreign language and take baths with buckets of water on a regular basis. I was in disbelief that my parents were actually coming to Suriname, even though I knew they would. Now, I am in disbelief that our time together here has come and gone. It didn't feel like it had been almost a year since I had seen them. Fortunately, for the remainder of my service here, I will not be able to say that I have not hugged them in eleven months. I am coming home in the Fall. When I return to Suriname to complete my service, I will be in a single-digit countdown.

I am going back to site tomorrow for a couple of weeks. I don't feel ready. I was so spoiled with my parents being here. It has been nearly a year since I had that many hot showers in such a short amount of time. I am not ready for the readjustment that comes with life in the jungle for this American. I shouldn't complain. I am greeted with hugs and smiling faces every single time I return. I will try and focus on that reality.

I am so thankful for my parents visit. I am comforted by the fact that there are finally people from my life before PC that now know the people and places I have been talking about for the last eleven months. I am thankful they have a better understanding of my daily routine and what it takes to be a Volunteer in Suriname. With that said, if you know that I love you or even that I like you a little bit, come visit!

Momma and Daddy, 


Thank y'all for spending more money than you ever thought you would to come sleep in a tiny house in the jungle, in a not very comfortable bed, after you washed the jungle sweat away with a cold bucket of water. Thank you for being patient with cultural differences and moments of awkwardness and discomfort. Thanks for doing your best to speak the local language. I think with a few more days y'all would have mastered it. I hope y'all learned a lot from your trip. It was a joy to experience things for the first time again with y'all. I hope y'all have a better understanding and a deeper appreciation for what Peace Corps Volunteers around the world are giving their lives to support for twenty-seven months. I hope you saw how honored I am to call myself a part of that group. I cannot say how thankful I am for your investment in this trip and in this dream of mine. 


More love than the miles between us, 
Brooke

The Time Has Come

My parents made it safely to Suriname. I went to meet them at the airport, and I do not think I have ever been hugged that tightly in my entire life. It was great. They've met most of the other Volunteers and eaten a couple of delicious things. Thanks to their visit, I am able to stay at a nice hotel and take hot showers (of which I have had four. In three days). Life is especially good at the moment.

Tomorrow we head out to Malobi. It's finally time for the three of us to make the trek out to my site. I cannot believe it. I am anxious, excited, and completely ready to see my parents in my house and meeting my villagers. It's safe to go ahead and say that each of our lives will be changed because of their experience in Malobi and the Amazon.

I cannot wait to share all of our experiences and adventures after the next week. Wish us luck and say a prayer!

good news.

I am back in the city after six weeks in the jungle. My counterpart and I held a meeting with the village to discuss attaining a rice mill for Malobi, as well as what the community contributions will be. Things move very slowly compared to business in the States. That is no doubt going to be frustrating at times, but I am committed and motivated to help my village find a rice mill. I will continue to post our progress as the project gets started.

All of the PCVs will be in for our All Volunteer Conference beginning on Tuesday. I am excited about catching up with some of my Volunteer friends that I have not see in a while. 

In the last twenty-four hours I have had my hair washed and cut, and I also had a hot stone massage. I think that I forgot my job title if only for a day or two. Needless to say, all of it was worth every SRD spent. 

Now, for the BIG news. My parents are coming to Suriname. Did everyone catch that? KEITH AND BETH ARE COMING TO SURINAME! We talked a lot about them coming to visit before I left and decided over a year ago that my first April would be a good time. I cannot believe the time has really come. I cannot believe I am almost eleven months into my Peace Corps service. I cannot believe they are really going to be here so soon. I have not hugged my parents in 329 days. I cannot believe I can honestly say that I will hug my parents in FIVE days. The next time I jump on a dugout canoe to go home to Malobi, my parents will be with me. The next time I walk into my house in Malobi, my parents will be with me. Parts of my two very different worlds are going to collide very soon. I could not be more excited. 

I don't know what else to say or write at the moment. I am going to hug my parents in less than a week. There's not very much else that matters right now. 

That Just Happened.

I just returned to the Peace Corps office after a delicious Indian food dinner with some fellow Volunteers. As five of us piled into one cab, LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I Know it" came on the radio. The driver must have heard us joking about it because it turned the volume way up. The six of us spent the next three minutes dancing, laughing, and singing. Oh, those fleeting moments with cab drivers in Suriname, that just happened. 

Jungle Updates

I have never really been one to update my Facebook status very often, and I don't have Twitter. While a lot of things have changed since I moved to the jungle, this is not one of them. I am definitely trying new things, but my lack internet access prevents me from updating folks every time something funny or unusual happens.

A couple of weeks ago I started writing down a few things that made me laugh or think, "This is not real life." Here are a couple:

10 January- The lady that lives behind me just walked past my house and asked me to giver her underwear.   Seriously.

12 January- I took a picture of a boa constrictor. I was unsuccessful at convincing the kids they shouldn't throw rocks at it.

15 January- I am pretty confident the bats in my ceiling have expanded their family or have invited their bat friends to live there too. I am outnumbered.

17 January- In bed for the night. An overweight gecko just tackled and ate a flying grasshopper on top of my bed net. Goodnight, jungle.

19 January- Visiting Jonathan at his site for a few days. He just chopped a bat in half with his machete. I am not phased or shocked. This is normal.

25 January- I was just called to my neighbor's house to look at two dead monkeys. I think I am going to eat some later.

26 January- It's not noon yet. I just ate a monkey hand. Tomorrow I will eat McDonald's in the city.

These are just a few examples of daily life in Malobi. I have moments every single day that make me laugh at the fact that this is my real life. I feel incredibly fortunate to be in this position and to experience all of the above and many many more interesting (and sometimes bizarre) things everyday. My life is nothing less than wonderful.

I go back to site in a couple of days, and will not be back in the city until the end of March. Malobi needs a rice mill, so in the next couple of months I will begin meeting with the leaders of the village to discuss how the village may obtain one and what their responsibilities in the project will be. I also plan to re-cement the front room of my house and install more shelving. I plan to visit Jamie at her village, and she is coming to visit Malobi.

In the middle of all of this, I will celebrate my twenty-fifth birthday. Man oh man.  I never imagined I would celebrate a birthday in the jungle. Then again, I never imagined I would do most of the things I have done in the past nine months. Life is so good and so full of adventure. I am thankful for that everyday.

Boys Leadership Camp

Vision and Goals of BLC:


Since youth living in the interior of Suriname receive little encouragement to continue studies and face difficult obstacles in gaining education beyond the sixth grade, the BLC intends to encourage boys to further their education, expand their view of workforce opportunities, and take positive leadership role within their communities. 


Also, youth face additional pressures to engage in sex at a young age. Yet, they receive little to no life skills based education in order to protect themselves and their loved ones from HIV, other sexually transmitted diseases, and teenage pregnancy. The Boys Leadership Camp will focus on providing the boys with information to protect and empower themselves to make healthy lifestyle choices. 


Additional topics addressed through the various sessions and activities ate the BLC include: environmental awareness, drugs and alcohol abuse, leadership, career opportunities, and goal setting. The central theme imparted throughout the camp aims to encourage the boys to make good decisions and actively seek a better future for themselves and their communities. 


Returned campers will sustain the camp's goals and benefits by spreading their empowerment and education in the areas of environment, drugs and alcohol, HIV/AIDS, careers, goal setting, and leadership amongst their peers through their school presentations and community service project. 


On December 2nd thirty boys gathered at Tio Boto Ecolodge for 3 days of camp, lessons, and fun! I was so excited for all that they were going to learn and do. Peace Corps Volunteers have previously held a few camps for girls on the Suriname river, but this was the first for boys. Saramaccan culture can seem very male-dominated at a glance, but I think a leadership camp is just as important (if not more important) for the boys in the culture as it is for the girls.

The boys arrived Friday afternnoon, and after check-in and going over the rules, we played icebreakers and tie dyed t-shirts. Kyle and Jonathan led a lesson on the importance of taking care of the environment and the boys decorated reusable water bottles.

Saturday consisted of waking up to a workout and breakfast before starting lessons for the day. The boys attended lessons on drugs and alcohol and HIV/AIDS. I helped Harvey, a man from the city, facilitate the lesson on HIV/AIDS. It felt good to help facilitate a lesson in another language. I was pretty proud of myself. Harvey talked to them about preventing HIV/AIDS, what the letters stand for, and what the disease does to your body. After his talk I led a couple of games based on the information he gave them. We played a condom game race similar to musical chairs. The boys passed around condoms. If the music stopped on them they had to break the blown up condom and answer the question inside. We also passed around pictures from our HIV/AIDS visual toolkit, and the boys had to explain why someone could or could not catch HIV from the situation in the picture. After lessons and lunch on Saturday, a women's group from Masia came to perform a skit in which the stress the importance of guarding oneself agains HIV. The boys spent the afternoon playing soccer and making instruments out of recycled materials to use later in the camp. The night wrapped up with Harvey giving his testimony and talking to the boys about his living with HIV and the decisions he should have made differently.

Sunday the boys had lessons on goal setting and leadership. They played soccer again that afternoon, and we ended Sunday night with a bonfire ceremony, smores, and a battle of the bands using the instruments they made on Saturday. They were divided into four groups. Each group had to play their instruments and sing a song they wrote about one of the four lessons they attended. It was so much fun listening to all of them sing their songs and play their homemade instruments. After the battle of the bands the boys were able to stand up (if they wanted to) and talk about what they had learned that weekend. We sat around the fire while those who wanted to stood up and said thank you to all of the leaders and talked about the lessons they would take back to their villages. I have to admit I got emotional. I was so moved by the things they were saying, and was so excited and happy for all that they learned over those few days. I felt like I watched them grow up a little that weekend. For a few minutes I sat there thinking of my role as a Peace Corps Volunteer and being in this small country. There I was sitting around a bonfire at the end of a really fun weekend with thirty boys that would not have happened without the Volunteers in this country. I got to be a part of a change in the lives of those kids. I know that. What a cool feeling. The cooler feeling is the fact that they changed mine and they have no idea.

Before the boys left on Monday, we held a certificate ceremony and played capture the flag with them. After playing capture the flag, the boys huddled up for one last cheer. Before they finished the cheer, we Volunteers attacked them with water balloons. It was awesome.

What a great weekend for those boys, and what a great weekend to be a part of. I am so thankful for all the hard work and energy that went into hosting it. I am so thankful for the boys that came for being so involved. I am most thankful for all that they learned.

The whole group

Boys from the school in Masia (Masia, Malobi, Heikununu)

A single hand cannot lift the boat over the rapid. 

HIV/AIDS lesson

Instrument making

WATER BALLOONS! 

The Stuff They Don't Tell You

Early in December my buddy, Marco, fell and hurt her leg. There was no open wound, but in the following days she became very sick. I sat with her on December 9, while her mom went to a neighboring village to find a bush doctor. Marco was lying on a foam mattress on the floor inside their house. I sat on the porch and helped move her mattress outside and back inside trying to keep her as cool as possible. I could tell at that point she was very sick. She was a normal looking nine year old, and had lost close to ten pounds in less than a week. She was helpless and probably pretty annoyed with me for trying to get her to drink water every two minutes. 

Beta returned a few hours later with the bush doctor. I sat on the porch as he rubbed oil on her leg. I finally had to leave because it was too hard to see my friend in that much pain. I have seen my momma upset when I have been in pain, and in that moment, I understood a little better as to why. I love Marco and it upset me to see her in pain and so helpless. 

On the morning of December 11, I sat with Beta for a minute before Shannon and her parents arrived for their visit to Malobi. Marco could barely talk and was totally helpless. I watched as Beta sat behind her and propped her up while she attempted to fee her noodles. Later that afternoon, Shannon, her parents, and I were sitting with my neighbor Kayen. Beta came over and told Kayen that she needed him to take her and Marco to the clinic a few villages up river. (Kayen is the school boatman). Beta looked worried. Kayen said he would take them, so Beta tied her nine year old child on her back because she couldn't walk, and they left. 

Beta came back to Malobi the next morning. She and Marco had been sent from our nearby clinic to a clinic down river. An America doctor was there that day, and said that Marco needed to be flown to the city. Beta put her on a plane before she returned to Malobi. Beta's sister was going to pick Marco up when she arrived in the city. 

Beta received word that night that Marco made it to the city, and that she was going to have teeth pulled the next morning. After talking to Beta, I found out that Marco's body was full of infection. Beta was worried, and so was I. However, I was filled with hope at the thought of her being in the city and at a hospital. I spent that afternoon thinking of hugging Marco and making her popcorn when she returned to Malobi. I absolutely could not imagine my life in Malobi without that bubbly child. 

I woke up at seven o'clock a.m. on December 13 to the sound of screaming coming from Beta's house. I heard Beta and a few other women crying the night before and it turned out they were just extremely worried. Something told me this was different. I made myself get out of bed and walk over despite my fear of finding out what I didn't want to find out. When I saw a lot of women standing outside of Beta's house, I knew what had happened. Marco died the night before. I never thought my villagers would see me cry, especially not like that. There were close to fifty women standing in and outside of her house. The girls Marco's age, on their way to school that morning, stopped at Beta's on their way to the river. They didn't make it to school that day. They wept for the loss of their friend. 

I walked into Beta's house and hugged her. We cried and embraced for a few minutes before I sat down. I sat at her house for a couple of hours and decided I was never going to stop crying if I didn't leave. I went back to my house and called a few of my close PCV friend, and then I called my momma. 

As my mother told me how sorry she was, I was once again reminded of what it feels like for someone to love you so much that they hurt when you hurt. I was experiencing a wide range of emotions at that point. I was sad because Marco is gone. I was an angry American. I was angry with their culture and the way they do things. In her heart, Beta truly believed she was doing the right thing by telling the bush doctor and having him come check on Marco, but it didn't help. I was a thankful American. I cannot imagine ever becoming that sick and my mother waiting to take me to the doctor. I played the "what if" game. What if she had gone to the city a few days earlier? What if I had told Beta how much I thought Marco needed to go to the doctor sooner? 

As my mother spoke words of comfort and wisdom, I was calmed a little. She told me how hard infection throughout one's body is to fight even in America. She told me not to be judgmental of their culture, (I thought I was the Peace Corps Volunteer) that we don't know how long she had been sick before this. Maybe an infection is what caused her to fall and not the other way around. She said maybe others in the village would look at this situation and potentially do things differently in the future. She was right. Playing the "what if" game is never productive and never good in a situation like this one. 

Marco was buried in the city on December 17. I still have trouble believing that when I return to Malobi tomorrow, Marco will not be there to greet me with a hug. I will never hear her sweet voice call my name again. It's hard to accept. I don't know what it feels like to live in Malobi without her. So, as I start this new year, I start a new chapter in my Peace Corps service. 

I think every Peace Corps Volunteer has thoughts before they depart for their country of service of "What if something happens to a family member or friend?" "What if someone in my family dies?" At least I asked myself these questions. I never once thought that I would be here for seven months and have to deal with this. I never imagined I would grow to know and love folks in my village and have to deal with their deaths. These are the things they don't tell you when you apply to be a Peace Corps Volunteer. These are the things I didn't think about before coming here. 

"Those little things? Those little moments? They aren't little."

-Steven Potter